Introduction

A pair of contradictions I carry with me at, I think, nearly all times - it has never been easier to get your voice out there, to say whatever it is you feel must be said and to do so where people might hear it, might take your words into their lives and be, in whatever way, changed to some extent by them. But - it has never been easier to get your voice out there, and so many people are doing exactly that, all the time, and there is so much noise all the time and so few ways to filter it. Is what I have to say signal, or noise? If it’s noise, who might I be drowning out, making it harder to find, speaking over? And if it’s signal, how can I possibly expect it to reach anyone over the din?

I don’t know that I have an answer to any of that. Of course I think what I have to say is worthwhile, but then surely so does everyone. But if nothing else I’ve decided I don’t actually need to solve this equation, to reduce the problem of modern communication down to an easily answerable yes-or-no. There will always be people who don’t agree, or don’t care, or don’t understand why I find my thoughts important enough to give them space anywhere but a diary tucked under my pillow; there will always be people who find my insight valuable, who want to hear my thoughts, who feel spending a little digital time with me is worthwhile more often than not.

So, a little about me, to begin. I’m in my mid thirties, which the small sad place inside of me where my teenage depression still keeps a room says is an impossibly high number. I knit, crochet, sew, draw, paint, and write, and when there’s a little tickle in the back of my mind suggesting I add something more to that list I tend to jump in with both feet. I have ADHD, depression, and anxiety (all diagnosed) and suspect I’m autistic though confirming that suspicion in any formal sense isn’t much of a priority. I’m fat, which informs all of those creative practices that involve making clothing, and of course informs my daily life in a colorful variety of ways. I’m a housewife in a high cost of living area, a privilege in both the social justice sense of the word and the more general way. I’m queer, a word I use very deliberately, and when I wish to get more specific I’m pansexual, another very deliberate choice.

I have been wanting, for quite some time, to carve out my own little space on the internet, to have somewhere my thoughts and opinions and hopes and upsets can live where they might do more than just bounce around inside my head until I’m sick of the noise. I hope there is, there will be, something in there that resonates with you. Welcome.